The only thing I can mark Monster Mash down for in terms of presentation would be the QR code on the back. And when you consider how Monster Mash Cereal will also be flanked by fruit snacks and retro boxes for the big 3, you’ve got a recipe for an especially exciting Monster Cereal season. What’s more important is just how gorgeous the box is-I want to simultaneously frame, enshrine, and tattoo this thing on my lower abdomen. I can totally see myself mindlessly munching this stuff during an old-school Goosebumps marathon come October. Berry blandness aside, Monster Mash Cereal is certainly edible. They’re slick seasonal decorations that just happen to be edible, too. There are a lot more important things in life to direct my ire towards, and let’s face it: at least for me, my love for the Monsters has almost always been more about aesthetics than taste. But on the other, colorfully bandaged hand, I feel like I’m getting too old to really get outraged about a new cereal not appealing to my specific demands. On one sharp-clawed paw, I’m sad there’s no real presence from FB and YM in Monster Mash (I can excuse the lack of chocolate), as a burst of citrus would go a long way toward enriching the overall cereal. Since Boo’s cereal has always tasted like an indecipherable blend of generic fake fruit flavors, chucking strawberry Franken Berry into this witch’s brew adds almost no detectable dimension to the overall swirl of sugary swill.Īdd to this the fact that Monster Cereals are still corn-based-despite the many pleas of super fans to restore the old oat-base recipe-and you’ve got a Monster Mash that’s mostly Monster Meh. This leads to the second reason for my prolonged Booooo: the whole cereal just tastes like Boo Berry. Even when I ate the marshmallows on their own, any notes I thought I could discern were pure projection and placebo. Meanwhile, the variously hued marbits represent Chocula (swirled ghosts and bats), Brute (orange monster heads), and Mummy (yellow monster heads)-there are also Frank and Boo marbits, as if this cereal needed more marshmallows! Obviously, though, this is a bit disappointing, as the marbits themselves have no inherent flavor on their own. The crunchy ghost pieces here, which constitute the vast bulk of any given Monster Cereal’s flavor, only hail from Franken Berry and Boo Berry. Rather, it’s more of an aesthetic representation for three of the five. One word will suffice for Monster Mash Cereal: Boooooo. And this is for two reasons.įirst, though I said Monster Mash Cereal brings together all the Monsters, it doesn’t do so in the evenly amalgamated way you’d hope/expect. ![]() But on a scale of “eerie sight” to “graveyard smash,” just how good is it? Well allow me to grab my finest aged sarcophagus milk and find out. Hotly anticipated for months now-I swear, people get more excited about Monster Cereals than 1,031 new Toast Crunches-Monster Mash Cereal, debuting on store shelves everywhere this month, brings all five Monsters together in one box, for the first time. I guess we can say Frute Brute is Famine, since he’s the biggest cult favorite fans have hungered for, while Yummy Mummy represents Pestilence in the form of some ancient Egyptian plague unleashed when someone drank sarcophagus juice like it was Ghoul-Aid.Īnyway, now that we’ve picked a group Halloween costume for this crunchy quintet, let’s talk about their 50th anniversary mega-cereal: Monster Mash. Towering powerhouse Franken Berry feels built for War, while Boo Berry is Death because ohhh, you know how ghosts are. Chocula is definitely Conquest, since he’s the ringleader. One might even call the Monsters the Five Horsemen of the Halloween Season, though I’m not sure how I’d assign them apocalyptic analogues. July 4th fireworks become Pop Rocks, watermelons become pumpkins, campfire roasters become big plastic devil pitchforks, and you can feel a palpable chill in the air-probably from Target turning up the AC because, y’know, it’s August, but still. ![]() When they start popping up on shelves around late-August, a vortex of orange and black seems to seems to swirl outwardly around them. For fifty years now, the General Mills Monster Cereals have been harbingers of Halloweentime.
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